Crying at the Orthodontist....Yep that was me!

Kate got braces today...

As I waited (rather impatiently I might add as I was both hungry and separated from my girl) I couldn't help but think about how this was as just a milestone for me as it was for her....and as I thought about that, I may have become the crazy mom who was crying in the orthodontist's office....

The movie in my head started with my being on "tooth watch" -- forever feeling her gums for any sign of a tooth....wondering if that white spot was residual formula or a tooth....I remember feeling the first one and just days later feeling the second one...which were then very quickly followed by numbers three and four....a perfect pair on the bottom and a perfect pair on the top...

I remember the excitement we had over these teeth because with their arrival we welcomed cheerio's, silver dollar pancakes, waffles....And while I was sad to say goodbye to the gummy baby smile, I quickly fell in love with the toothy smile!

And then before we knew it, Kate and I were losing teeth....she was losing them from her mouth and I was literally losing them (she has YET to let me forget how I lost her first tooth....as if I wasn't feeling guilty enough)....I was buying tooth fairy pillows, researching the going rate for teeth, and most importantly ensuring that I always had cash at hand...

I was again adjusted to a new smile...one that had the perfect juxtaposition of adult and baby teeth....for it gave me a glimpse of who she would be and all that she had been....I saw a young woman that would have a contagious laugh and have many fits of laughter with her friends, I saw a young woman that would others would regard as warm because of her smile, I saw a baby whose whole face lit up with her smile....

And now today....braces...moving those adult teeth to their permanent position....I had imagined holding her hand through this transition....she and I doing it together, me being there for her and she for me and yet....when they called her her name and we both stood, they said "Stay here mom....we just need Kate...." My knees buckled, I gave her a reassuring smile of my own and wished my voice had been strong enough to say "Just one more smile before you go...."

It's only been a few hours, but I'm already head over heels for this new smile....I love that she was confident enough to get colored rubber bands, I love that she was so meticulous with the new brushing and flossing routine, I love all that she was and all that she is....isn't that what being a parent is all about?? Falling in love every day??

Owning It....

We all have those moments, right?? We're catching up on our Facebook feed and looking at the pictures of the birthday party hosted by our "friend" and suddenly feeling sick to our stomach...wondering WHY we can't throw parties like that for our children. A perfectly executed theme from the invitation, to the food, to the favors, to the clothing...If only I could throw similar ones for Kate and Drew, they'd be guaranteed admission to an ivy league college where they'd graduate magna cum laude, meet the love of their life and be guaranteed the life of their dreams, but because I can't....well....they're doomed!

But let me be honest, it's not the birthday parties that get really get to me, it's the posts from any given Saturday morning where before 8AM, the mom has showered, fed her kids homemade pancakes, meal planned and grocery shopped for the week...meanwhile I'm clutching my coffee cup, not talking to my family because I need a good 30 minutes to wake up before I can be social, breakfast is dry cereal in a bowl and it's a really good day if I toast a waffle, and let's not even talk meal plan or grocery shop...isn't that something that we all do on a daily basis like laundry (or am I the only one that can seem to only wash what needs to be worn the next day and likewise can handle buying only what needs to be microwaved  cooked for dinner that night??)

Here's what I know...everyone has their CRAZY, no matter what they post on Facebook...and without further adieu I present mine (which now means that you'll know that I'm lying through my teeth when I post about our perfect family Saturday morning!):

1. I have a paralyzing fear of rabbits....the only ones I like are the chocolate ones!
2. I do not believe in mixing vegetables or fruit with my dessert...I am a purist and believe that chocolate only belongs with more chocolate...so you lovers of carrot cake, of fruit pies....I don't understand you!
3. My least favorite word is "fine"...maybe it's because I'm an overachiever and I think we should all be desiring "excellent" or "great", maybe it's because I'm a woman and a wife and I know that "fine" usually means everything but fine....
4. I can't iron....my mom has shown me multiple times, but left to my own devices I create new wrinkles to add to the ones that are already there and end up frustrated so...I take more clothes than necessary to the cleaners only so they'll do my ironing....
5. I have to sleep with the TV on....not fall asleep with it on and then have the timer turn it off, but sleep with it on, I will wake up if it's turned off...

And that's only the top 5...I've got to leave you wanting more...

xoxo,

L

A Mom's Checklist....

• Work 40+ hours a week...CHECK
• Mom (and yes "mom" is now a verb) two young children...CHECK
• Attempt to maintain some sense of order at home...CHECK, but ONLY IF by maintaining a sense of order what we're all saying is that we have that room, that closet where we hide all of the clutter that is usually on the kitchen counters, stairs, etc

 
Let's face it life is crazy, life has a tendancy to get the best of us so I think to this check list we also need to add:
 

• Have at least one moment a week where we clinch our eyes closed, curl up in the fetal position, and hope that when we open our eyes next the mess will have disappeared, our children will have stopped fighting without our threatening them, money will have appeared in our bank accounts, dinner will have been prepared and the dishes put away...CHECK!
• Celebrate the moments that are truly yours and yours alone even if you have to find them by locking yourself in the bathroom...CHECK!
• Have at least one moment a week where we experience that dicotomy of "how did I get to be so lucky to live this life??" and "how did I get HERE??"...CHECK!

 
My friends (and I say that because I know it's only my friends at this point that are reading this)....we're in this TOGETHER....I hope that in writing down my thoughts and my experience that not only will I find comfort as there's truly no better medicine than just getting it off our chests and that you, too, will comfort in knowing that I'm holding out my hand asking you to walk this road with me...TOGETHER
 
There's truly no place I'd rather be, than with all of you...
 
xoxo,
L